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  • christymilks

Aging Parents


I have been wanting to write this post for months now. I KNOW many of my peers understand my plight and are dealing with this in so many ways right now.


Let me tell my story and hope that others share theirs.


When I was 25 and in love with the man of my dreams, I moved 1500 miles away from my entire family. I do not regret that decision at all...I live in a place that I love...I still love that man...and I've had three children and love that I've been able to raise them in this gorgeous place.


But moving away from my parents has been challenging....especially recently.


I am moving my father out to Colorado. I was born and raised in New York. My parents were born and raised there as well. I am not near New York....I am not in a position to travel to NY easily and frequently. My dad will be moving into a Senior Living Facility.


I feel like I am an in an excellent position right now. My dad needs help (and I cannot give it to him) while he resides in a State which is 1500 miles away. I am excited for this step in that I will have less GUILT and will be able to, hopefully, make him happier and healthier with engaging him in more relationships and at the same time assure his needs are cared for. His wife passed away a year+ ago and he has been struggling.


I feel awkward expressing guilt and all my feelings about this because I know good friends are going through worse. They all have children who still need a lot of love and assistance from them....because....does that ever end? Part of the struggle...parenting on all ends of the spectrum.


A good friend has both parents in Assisted Living and is struggling with their health and hospital stays.


Another friend lost her father and mom is in Assisted Living with dementia...they are many, many miles apart.


Another friend lost both parents years ago. They did not get to partake in the big moments of the big kids....this was hard for my friend.


It is such a major struggle to have children who still need so much assistance from their mom and their mom needs to attend to their mom and dad. Circle of life?? You betcha.


Please, please, please....comment on this post and tell your stories. I want to know how you feel and how you are doing. It helps keep me going :-)


Love you,


Christy





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1 Comment


Stacey O'Brien
Stacey O'Brien
Feb 06, 2023

I'm so glad you have found a place for him near you and he is willing to make that move. It will make all of the difference for both of you. I am not going to lie - having to be the "caretaker" of those that always took care of us is utterly exhausting and heartbreaking. My dad left us two weeks ago on his own terms (quite peacefully, thankfully) but all the time leading up to his passing I felt like I couldn't do enough to just get him home like he wanted. He had been in so many types of hospitals and SNF's and we knew we could not take care of him at home (way too many…


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