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  • christymilks

BALANCE


Do you know what balance means for you?


A good noun definition for balance is "a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions."


A good verb definition for balance is "offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another."


For me, I struggle very much with both the noun and the verb definition. I struggle with the work/life balance, the husband/children balance, the me/you balance.


I love the work I do for a job. It stimulates me intellectually, I feel I am helping people on a medical and emotional level; sometimes they get better and sometimes they don't. When they don't...I am pulled to think about my patients after hours, when I am home.


My family is probably pretty normal, however there are turns and twists which requires a lot of attention from me emotionally. I am pulled to think about my family during work hours when I am not at home.


Is this Balance?


Add in the fact that I am a bona fide WORRIER. I come by it naturally and genetically. My mother is a worrier and her mother before her. But here's the deal...if you worry both sides of the scale...nothing is resolved or fixed or balanced.


2023 brought a resolution, or as I like to say, "things I'd like to work on." I would like to feel more "balanced" I said to myself. But now, in February, what that really means is that I need to take better care of myself and see what flows from that. For example, I was pretty sick this week (so were others in my family) and I chose to focus on feeling better and stayed home from work. I felt so GUILTY about that...at first.


Then I realized....when I feel good about myself, the other decisions fall into place. And, shall I say...things seem to balance out.


At 51 years old, I am still a work in progress, but I believe recently I have discovered that if I put myself in the center solidly (not first, not last) but at the center.....there...maybe I can achieve some balance.



Love you,


Christy

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